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Sometimes it is easy to think of what we don’t have or what we did have and don’t anymore. When I look back on the above picture, or this:
Mostly it just brings up thoughts such as “I wish I was back in Australia”, “How can I get back?”, “I wish I could take my little family here and move us to the Gold Coast”, etc. Even though I came back to Canada in Dec 2008 my life seems to have become a count of days that have passed since I lived in the most amazing place I have ever had the pleasure to live in.
That’s not all. The last 4 years have been countdowns to competitions or events I was looking forward to. “12 weeks out”, “8 weeks out” became my life as I counted down to figure competitions. “1 year to prepare for regionals” became my life as I entered Crossfit. When injuries came up I then counted the days that I was out (and there have been many).
The last week I’ve done a lot of reflecting to figure out why I want to go back to Australia so bad or what made it so special. Or why I was counting up, down or sideways to different events. I think my problem is that I want adventure. I don’t like routine…. I actually hate routine. But I suppose like a good adult I need a job to pay the bills and some kind of structure. But in Australia everything was an adventure. I had a job that allowed me to travel weekly and, hell, the local park had wild PEACOCKS
If I go to a park in Cambridge I am greeted by seagulls and Canadian geese. Don’t get me wrong, I love all wildlife BUT I think the fact that running 2k to a park with peacocks or doing yoga on my balcony at night only to be greeted by a flying fox bat
made everyday an adventure.
When I came back I kept seeking out adventures in the form of competitions. I figured there was nothing worth seeing in Ontario. As a competitive athlete my whole life, it came natural. Injuries and health started setting me back and my life became a series of countdowns or countups (clearly not even a word). I see the last couple years as a failure because I didn’t accomplish anything (I know not actually true), due to injuries and my health. This always kept me coming back from training breaks too quickly, leading to more injuries…. My most recent a partial tear of the right bicep tendon. It has become a vicious cycle and at the end of the day I end up sulking because I figure that life came so easy in Australia.
Why did life come so easy?? That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out… And I think I got it.
I MADE every day count. I went out and NEVER once counted to anything. I enjoyed each day for what it was. I ran to cool parks, traveled into the rainforest, went to the beach, went for walks around town, explored my city, etc. Even when my traveling job came to a close I didn’t once just sit around. I spent a lot of time exploring solo. And I miss exploring.
So this will be a quick post because even though I’m still sick I’m out on an adventure. I’m going to explore Rattlesnake point today. I’m tired of sitting around and counting down to something. I’m out for about 6 weeks from my full blown Crossfit training because of my shoulder. Normally I would sulk for 6 weeks because it means it is less time preparing for regionals 2014. That’s ok. There is a 2015.
So after all this reflecting I made myself a promise to spend the summer having fun and exploring, not just working. I am promising myself to travel to a new place weekly to go for a run and explore Ontario. This gives me time to allow my shoulder to heal without worrying about time away from training. I’m also promising myself to make everyday count more… That means possibly cutting back on work to accomplish this. I have watched some pretty amazing people come down with possibly life threatening health issues lately, and just this week I sat in a cardiologists office getting an echocardiogram to figure out why my heart isn’t beating right.
Life is for living and experiencing everything you can… So that’s exactly what I’m going to do! We can make all the excuses we want or we can just go out and do it. I pick to just go out and do it…. We all have that choice.
The question becomes: What are YOU waiting for? A health scare? A lifetime to pass? Get out and make the changes you need now. You are the only one in your way.